I always knew the Doors were a little out there, especially with The End, but after reading the lyrics the song's gonna give me the the creeps whenever I hear it.
It's a few hours away from the end of 2007, do you know where your goals are? I haven't made a New Year's Resolution in half my lifetime. Saying you're going to do something just because today has a special name and tomorrow will be another year never seems to work. But I still try to consider what I've done and what I have yet to do. Progress is gradual and dedication required patience. Far better that I simply try to be my best today than waste years regretting that I'm still not perfect.
This is kind of lengthy but I swear for the most part I don't drift off into la la land.
What Happened in 2007 (in somewhat correct order, when possible)
-It was 2007. Seriously, the 007 year is the coolest sounding year to date. I wish I made better use of it doing much cooler things than I did.
-Started taking pictures and using Flickr. This is pretty important because this hobby has shed new perspective on my work in general and helped me focus my mind better. And the 365 project- oh crap! I left my camera at work! >.< Remind me to use my sister's camera for today and tomorrow...
-Made a new friend at the library. He watches anime.
-Completely cast off any emotional baggage from the past. The present is now my only concern.
-Started to stop wasting time dong things that are a waste of time. My hands have been less idle as of late, and when they are I try to use them for constructive and resolute diversions. So instead of surfing the web aimlessly when I don't wish to confront looming due dates, telling myself that I'm going to start homework this very moment, I'd play Warcraft or read a book.
-Lost my second job, moved up the ranks at my primary job twice in one month. Getting the circulation and then the children's position at the library really helped initiate my desire to become more responsible with my life. The children's department alone is responsible for helping me finally expand my comfort zone by forcing me to attempt things of which I have no precious knowledge or experience in doing. That's pretty big.
-Bought way too many t-shirts from Threadless. And yet not nearly enough to satisfy me.
-Got myself a killer computer set up. I'll be getting a new video card soon, and with the combined power of dual screens and a comfy computer chair (which Santa did bring me) I will be unstoppable! Or at least motivated to continue my design and various production works independently, without having to rely on the poor workspace of the school library.
-Lost my new friend at the library. But before he left on his two-year quest of training in the mountains I got a hard-drive full of "suspiciously acquired" anime from him to tide me over.
-Discovered and summarily crashed a lost sky city. Not much more to say about that.
-Played a lot of Warcraft off and on. Truly a life changing experience.
-Started becoming semi-social. The libraries exclusive Game Nights aren't exactly like hitting the clubs every night, but at least I'm doing something with people I know and sometimes don't know outside of my own house.
-Started wearing necklaces. But not like, sissy girl necklaces or anything. Cool man necklaces that show everyone how manly I am.
In the end the what I got out of 2007 was a shift in priorities. I'm less concerned about what I want in life and what I need to survive and more concerned with what I can do to help those around me. I'm ready to do my part for my family (and the rest of society, I suppose) whether it be doing basic chores or taking over my own finances, insurance and medication ordering stuff.
Also, being finally and truly free from influence by my peers, both friends and foes, I was able to do a lot of the correct kind of introspection. Not the "Who am I? What is my purpose? What do I want in life?" sort that is more about wistful thinking, but the real kind where I look at myself based on the reality of my surroundings. And I managed to do this without completely discarding my childhood curiosity of the unknown or belief in the greatness of everything. High five!
What Could Possibly Occur in 2008
-Improved self-expression. I've never felt I've been able to express myself outwardly very well, partly because I never felt I could express my thoughts in my own mind very well. Now that I'm pretty good and thinking inside my head, the next step is to make everyone else understand what the heck I'm saying.
-Focus. I've spent most of my life as the passive fighter. I wait, size up the situation with as much information as I can, and then wait some more until the first strike is made. It's a valid strategy. If you ever saw me play soccer you'd know it's a very stupid strategy. The way small children play soccer is this: There is a soccer ball. Surrounding the soccer ball is every kid on the field, usually in one giant mass. This seemed like an odd way to play to me and I assumed I must not understand sports. Which I didn't: the first game I ever played they didn't really explain where I was supposed to stand at the start. I saw the kicker with the soccer ball and thought "Hey, I'll block him. Brilliant!" He kicked it as hard as he could right in my gut.
Anyway you might imagine I preferred goalie. But uh...I had a hard time paying attention. My mom remembers clearly when several goals got past me because I was looking at dandelions or butterflies. By being passive I ended up being bored and losing sight of my goal. The goal that was right behind me.
The above story is an example of how I can't focus. I mean, the entire two paragraphs were sort of related but some tangents don't need to be discussed in depth.
If I can learn to focus and develop an initiative I can work on my goals immediately instead of waiting to see what happens without taking action. Deciding to not make a choice is still a choice, it just takes longer.
If I can accomplish just those two things next year, it will be a miracle.
Conclusion (for you lazy punks that skip ahead)
2007 was a chapter break. Or maybe the end of a book. Maybe like the epilogue. By that reckoning 2008 would probably be the third or forth book in my series. The last one was getting a little drawn out so I'm looking forward to a fresh start. Not because it's an arbitrarily judged "new year", but because I'm ready to take the next step in my life: becoming who I am instead of wondering what I could have been.
Besides being on of the best books written in our lifetime, Punk Farm has one of the most creative websites I've seen. They made a fake "MySpace page and even went so far as to create fake profiles for everyone that made a comment. That right there is some good follow through!
Also: They Rock.
http://www.punkfarm.com/
Check it out.
...at which point I had to decide: Keep, give away, toss? Today I've held in my hands about 90% of all my possessions. There was a lot less junk to dig through as a predicted, which was almost disappointing. Oh well.
It was fun digging through my memories, especially looking at the doodles on homework assignments or in school literature books. A great find was a daily journal I wrote in the third grade. My main concerns then were: keeping my friends from fighting, trying to save up for a game boy, beating Mario is Missing for the PC, saving up for a Sega instead of a Game Boy, keeping my mother placated while doing as little as possible, saving up for a Game Boy instead of a Sega, my inability to comprehend the madness of existence, and Spider-Man is cool. My favorite entry was "Today is a really bad day. I'm having a bad day it is so bad I don't want to talk about it." Ah, youth.
The great idea I had earlier today will be postponed. After a fool day's work there's nothing I like better than sitting in my comfy robe by the fire place and a cup of hot cocoa and watching sissy romance/comedy anime. It's great being the only person home sometimes.
Traditionally I spend a good deal of time during the semester doing two things: thinking about all the things I can do after the semester and rearranging my room because the new surrounding will "make me more productive". Then when the semester ends I traditionally do two things as well: try to remember what I planned on doing and nothing at all.
I actually managed to go an entire semester without moving any furniture in my room (very painful) but am now wondering what I had planned for my free time.
Today I'm going to clean out a good deal of my tucked away possessions that haven't seen the light of day in a decade or so. It will be hard to part with my Lost in Space Jupiter 2 space craft with missile-shooting capabilities and sound fx direct from the movie, but alas, it must be done. By comparison as a kid I eventually got over the loss of my X-Men Blackbird jet fighter with missile-shooting capabilities and detachable forward cockpit. That was tough, let me tell you.
My plan is to only keep what could fit in a smaller U-Haul. It needs to get done but for some reason I'm not as motivated in the prospect as I was when I was plotting it a few months ago. I'm lacking motivation in general, which is the problem.
Yesterday my goal for the day was to sit around in my new robe all day and play The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. That I succeeded brilliantly.
But then this morning I read a recent friend's post. About half way through I was inspired. To do what? Not going to say yet, but if all goes well I'll finish it by tonight. But without wasting more time I must get going on that shed cleaning. Immediate and rapid strikes are the name of the game this year!
For Christmas Eve, I'd like to point you in the direction of a short tale which, I believe with all my heart, embodies all the wonderful qualities of this festive season.
Let This Day Have Vikings!
It has Vikings.
After uploading ANOTHER 70 pictures that were accidentally left out, my Flickr is more or less up to date. I'll be cleaning out and correctly rotating pictures for a while, but at least what I update from now on should be done correctly ahead of time.
Unless you feel like digging through a sea of similar photos I recommend looking at the updated sets, particularly my 365 and the winter trip sets. I'll have to work on reorganizing a lot the sets into new collections over the next month and set up a few new ongoing sets. Comments and titles are still ongoing as well, so if you don't know what you're looking at check back later and I might tell you.
In other news, I've got this thing too. It was the "website" I used for my senior portfolio class. I'll still be updating it every so often (I say that far too much) when I make a new stuff. Someday I might even have a real website. Crazy ideas I sometimes have. Except for the idea to use Vox for the portfolio, which I stole.
Part of the criteria I wrote (we wrote our own syllabus's) was to have it reviewed by my peers upon completion. Technically I already got an "A" for the class. I'd still appreciate any comments or thoughts if you feel so inclined to check it out. I'm really not much of an artists or designer but I figure the best way to get there is to actually start trying.
Have a good Christmas! Unless Santa leaves me a new computer chair under the tree for me odds are I won't be on the computer much. I shall enjoy it muchly.
Maaaaan. Seriously I'ma going crazy here. I don't even remember what I was going to make a Vox post about. It was supposed to be pretty short. And somewhat nonsensical, but with a point. Maybe about what I was going to do when I got home? Over the break? Over dinner with an engaging woman?
What am I going to do today anyway? My sister wanted to know if I wanted to go to a movie with she and her friends (there's gotta be a better way to write that sentence). Movies are always good, and I've long ago accepted that most of my associates will always be my sister's friends. On the other hand I'm very poor and feel a little like sleeping the afternoon away. Of course I still have plenty of other things I should be doing besides sleeping. Hmmm.
I think I'll see the movie. On the one hand I've already seen it, so I could theoretically sleep in the theater. Of course I've never slept in a theater before so I might not anyway. As far as money goes I may be poor but I probably have an extra ten laying around somewhere (don't look behind my secret painting!). But then again I think my sister's friend's friend is coming, and if I'm going out in public in accompanied by a stranger, I'll have to clean up a little. And since all I feel like doing is sleeping I definitely won't feel like making myself presentable. But if I sleep I'm just wasting time for more important things I could be doing.
What a dilemma. If only could just remember what it was I was going to write a Vox post about...
Maybe I'm not so well recovered from the semester as I planned. For the past couple days I've been in a semi-daze where time passes unnoticed and terribly important things, like folding my t-shirts, just don't seem important anymore.
It's not bad. At least I'm not feeling morose or whining. Or whining about how I whine. I should be ok as long as I don't let myself die of sleepy contentment, like on...uh...whatever it was where people were dying of contentment. Some science fiction movie probably.
In other news it took about all of yesterday to get the rest of my photos up. Or...all of the day before? It's that whole sleepy time thing. Regardless the Flickr uploader would crash about every 30 or hundred pictures, so I kept having to check in on it to keep it going. But now that they're up I'll take today and tomorrow to clean what I uploaded. After that I'll going to go through the older pictures and start cleaning out photos that zero views or just aren't very good. Or that I have way too many copies of. Last year when I started Flickr I remember uploading a whole bunch of random photos just to fill up the emptiness. Ha.
In other other news, anyone know what a Homonadensian is? Some blind pastor guy asked my sister about it, and despite her reference prowess she's not coming up with much. He wants to know where they come from, and all we can find out is
A) Syria was involved in the Homonadensian war.
B) There was a Homonadensian war.
I guess the next step is to find out who Syria was fighting. If Homonaden was a county, it might be them. So far I've no evidence to support it.
To the hunt! And by hunt I mean Google.
Edit: We've determined that the Homonadensian were most likely a tribe within Syra. Syra was working for Rome, so the Homonadensian were fighting the Syrian government. We think? My sister called me a colleague when she called the guy back, so that's pretty cool.
I am Mr. Seth. Colleague.
Ok, I am, this very moment, about to hit the button that will upload 1025 pictures to my Flickr account. They're all set to private right now but after I dig through, label, name and delete what I don't need, you can see them.
The stupid button better work, that's all I have to say.
