I need to come up with a few goals for my updated job description. Inspiration is lacking this morning. I did, however, have the ingenious idea to use Vox for writing my goals. Nowhere else am I more inclined to be as verbose and self aggrandizing as here!
Goals for the 2009-10 Job Term
1. Continue push towards greater self-sufficiency.
While the best workplaces are those who's employees work as a team, I would like to continue my goal to become more responsible for my own work so as to strengthen the overall ability of my department.
2. Develop stock of completed storytime/program ideas to be used and built upon.
It would be helpful to have a reserve of storytimes in the even of a sudden need for one, and so I can take time to further build upon and improve.
3. Better learn the library tools available to both the staff and public.
I have insufficient knowledge of the catalog and database systems available to the public. A butter understanding of these would felicitate any assistance a patron would need with them.
Where do you find your personal strength?
Sponsored by Nature Made.
I'm sure most people will say something along the lines of family, love, God, good hair, inspirational posters and the like.
I imagine if I had a more adventurous life, one where I would be brought to the brink of death over and over only to miraculous stand on my feet and finish off the bad guy, the personal strength would come from the desire to protect what I care about with a sprinkling of deeply suppressed aggression.
But that doesn't happen to me. When I'm constantly brought to new lows there isn't some immediate goal or cherished person to fight for. There isn't anything. When I'm in a deep, dark hole I never spy a spark of light in the distance to help me find my way, and there's rarely a helping hand to pull me out of the abyss.
So what is it that brings me back? Why do I randomly wake up one morning and feel suddenly motivated? What do I see out the car window that will inspire me to create? How can looking up at a sky on a clear, sunny afternoon fill me with cheer just as a cloudy, calm night can make me confident and content?
No idea. I'm just glad I get it from somewhere.
Third post of the day to make up for a week of silence.
I've been in a low mood the past few weeks. Lethargic. Mopey. Occasionally grouchy (occasionally, Elizabeth!). There are a few things I could rationalize as the cause. I didn't get the full-time children's dept. job at the Green Valley library, and my sure fire backup full-time circulation job at PVL isn't even going to be open for applicants. School is as dire as ever and I have no idea when I'll be able to graduate. And stuff. I'm feeling very apathetic towards life in general and there's plenty of reasons why.
BUT.
I've been thinking up a theory. I went back to the past couple years (2008 does not nearly feel like a year ago, by the way) and the evidence is clear. I have allergies. Or something. The fact is I get like this every year. My ennui is a product of my environment.
What does that mean, how do I proceed? Well for one thing I can stop being mopey. It'll be easier to plan my day knowing that I'm just tired and not in a bad mood. And I probably shouldn't make any big decisions based on emotions for a while. Speaking of which I need to make a call to a certain group of mercenaries which are in no way connected to me and recommend that they hold off on the invasion of American Idol. Kidnapping the judges probably wouldn't have helped So You Think You Can Dance start any sooner anyway...
EDIT: Ok as proof that I'm doing everything I can to keep my motivation up (that's what he said) I decided to get rid of more stuff. The inspiration was totally random. The past week or so my family has been discussing trying to get this sweet deal from the city where they come in and fix up your really old, crappy house that's probably slowly killing you (or faster, depending on if the lead windows or poor wiring get you first). They completely gut your house which makes living in it sort of difficult, but more so if you have a lot of crap to move around.
That got me thinking about it, but what got me wanting to continue dejunkification was this paint featured on Uncrate. Not sure why, but it's made me want to get my possesions to the bare minimal.
What's your "deal breaker" when it comes to relationships?
Dang. Looks like I finally broke my "Do every QotD" New Year's Resolutions. Oh well.
"Deal breaker", huh? There's different breaking points for different levels of relationships.
Person I see occasionally walk down the hall- I barely ever make eye contact with this group of person so there's not really anything they can do to downgrade themselves.
Extended Coworkers (work in a different building)- Like hall folk, I only have the barest minimal contact with them. A phone call asking to look for a book. An email that I delete before reading. The closest I get to conflicts with this group of people are complaints expressed to me by a Nuclear Coworker. A deal breaker here would be if they go out of their way to be friendly with me and I have no desire to be friends.
Classmates- This group is strictly students I share a class with, not the ones that are my friends. Before college a deal breaker for a classmate would be if they were overly obnoxious or pestered me relentlessly. I was very irritable during compulsory education. I'm far more tolerant these days, and only break ties with classmates if they tell me they're racist or send me links to porn.
Coworkers- It can be difficult to balance relationships with some coworkers. I try to be on friendly terms with most of them, or at the very least neutral terms. Occasionally there will be one or two socially lacking or outright crazy coworkers. For those people I severely limit the length of exposure and eventually they leave me alone.
Friends- I have lots of friends. It's more likely that I'll lose touch with a friend because life gets in the way rather than any fault on their part. Even if we do drift apart for personal reasons its a gradual thing without a single breaking event.
Good Friends- Good friends are friends for life. I like them too much to let petty things get in the way, but we aren't so involved with each other that a big thing would ever come between us.
Best Friends- Best friends are complicated relationships indeed. A few examples of deal breakers would be acting like a jackass towards me because you like the girl that recently rejected (even though she did so for complicated reasons) me and you want to exhibit male dominance, or acting like a jackass because I got a girlfriend and apparently you were hoping I didn't swing that way (also you are very creepy).
But in more generic terms, a deal breaker for a best friend would have to be something pretty major. Not a single event but a cumulative change in their attitude, or as in the case that happened to me a couple years ago, a change in my attitude wherein I realized I wanted something better for my life.
Girlfriends- I don't have a lot of experience with this. I can say that a deal breaker here is a much simpler thing than a best friend. When I get to a point where I don't feel the relationship is going anywhere further or it's not what I felt it was going to be, it's over. Not because I don't want to waste time finding someone else. I've only had one girlfriend in the past decade. I feel it's cruel to be with someone that thinks you care about them more than you really do. I'm all about honesty in relationships and being honest about how you feel is sort of a big part of that.
On the other hand, if it's really love you should be able to work out nearly any problem.
Fiancees- Well for me it was when she was transferred to another school in the third grade. I almost regret not trying harder to keep the relationship together, but I think we're both happier this way.
Ok remember this post about the girl who was obsessed with the Jonas Brothers? Similiar thing happened as I sat next to Nicole today. Here's the story along with the Gtalk discussion.
First a girl comes up and starts asking about the Twilight zone- oh I'm sorry I mean the Twilight movie. Typical sadly focused tween girl. At first. But her fawning and sputtering showed her to be on the higher level usually associated with Otaku. And really, that's what Meyer's has done. She's created a simplistic subject that, unlike the equally overexposed Harry Potter, caters to those that are...well whiney and emo like a vampire.
As an example, she asked Nicole how long it would take to get the movie. A week? Probably longer. A month? Maybe. A year? No not that long. "Well it will feel like a year to me."
How are you celebrating St. Patrick's Day?
By wallowing in the realm of self-pity and bitterness. I found out I didn't get the children's job today. Not from the person doing the hiring, but from Marcie as a friend when she found out I still didn't know. Except I DID get a call-after I complained about not getting one on Twitter. Hmm.
And it seems they already have someone in mind for my backup option, a job I'd be miserable in but desperately need. I'd take (almost) anything within the library district but it appears I have no options. No idea what I can do now, but I'm used to being in a hopeless situation so I don't feel too bad.
Also I am wearing a green shirt.
I am so lucky to have the sister I have. I thank her in this blog here. Thank you sister for all you do.
What question do you hate being asked?
What's that thing on your arm?
What's the best part about living with a roommate? Worst?
Half rent.
Living with someone.
Ok apparently I still have a Valentines day theme here at Vox. But that's not the worst example of neglect this week for me.
Oh no. Not at all.
It would seem this years 365 is going to end around about in the neighborhood of last Saturday. This is bad. I have an oversight committee (Caprice) finding missing photos so I can make an official end of it. I planned on making the '09-'10 365 a self portrait one too, so obviously I missed some. It'll work out somehow I'm sure. :P
Also after much waiting and dreaming I downloaded Castle Crashers on Xbox Live last night.
My review: awesome.
That's all for now. Oh I have plenty more to say but I'm tired, bored and not thinking straight enough for proper coherence.
