1 post tagged “telling secrets”

Who do you tell your secrets to?

Well....long ago I had a couple friends and a notebook. We'd pass around the notebook, write random crap in it, respond to each other's crap, and so on. But that's not how it started out. It was a very personal thing that I started to write my thoughts and feelings.

Shut up it's not a diary.

I wasn't in a particularly happy place, with life and even more with myself. I knew I could be a better person, but how, HOW? My theory was that if I wrote down what I was thinking I'd have a historical imprint of myself that I could look back on. I would see my mistakes not just in actions, but in personality.

I had a habit of over thinking things back then.

I'm not sure if that would have worked out or not, but as fate would have it the plan was ruined by a girl. Experiencing my first major...I don't want to call it a "crush". Let's see what the thesaurus has for me. Mmhmm. Yeah. That's a good one. I was infatuated with her. Went stupid in the head. Since that became the primary thing on my mind I started writing about that. Then, not feeling I could keep it to myself (but with no plans to tell the girl, that's crazy talk, right?) I told my friend about it. I showed him the notebook. It progressed from there.

Stuff happened. I haven't talked to anyone in the group for a few years. I don't think they talk to each other either.

Anyway, I used to have people to tell my secrets to. Can't trust people enough anymore. Instead what I know do is spread my secrets around. I only have one or two people I think I can truly confide in, but not with everything. By limiting my friends to one secret at a time nobody gets the entire story.

Of course if they started talking to each other that could be problimatic for me. Or at the very least interesting. There are some secrets I've told, however, which can never again see the light of day. Those I have to keep to myself now...

Oh c'mon. Like I really have anything to keep secret.